Duck Killer

Author Platform Tip: Do What You Do

In a recent online class that I hosted on book marketing fundamentals I made the point that to effectively create and enhance an author platform, every author needs to do what they already do naturally, what is fun for them, and what they are good at - for example, Writers Write. Keep writing - good, entertaining and informative content with authenticity (A Great Title Helps too!) AND Readers will find you…take for example…

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Duck Killer

I live in Bucks County, PA, one of the most beautiful areas of the country. If you live in this area, there are a few things that the residents understand. One, once it gets hot it here, it gets unbearably hot and once it gets cold, it gets unbearable cold. Two, the folks here are sometimes hard to get to know but once you do, you have a friend for life. And three, when the various wildlife pass in front of your car, which they invariably do, YOU DO NOT KILL THEM. We are just that kind of people.

One of our residents clearly forgot that "Rule of Bucks County" last week. I feel the need to call him THE DUCK KILLER. I'm not proud of the way I handled THE DUCK KILLER, but let me tell you the whole story before you judge for yourself. It all started when I drove my 16 year old son home after his Lacrosse practice.

I leisurely turned right on a long, lonely road on the way home to our neighborhood when I noticed a family- a family, I tell you - of ducks, waddling across the street. I did what every upstanding Pennsylvanian should do and slowed down to be sure to pass without hitting the little waddlers as well as to alert the driver behind me to slow down because there are living creatures in the road. After successfully passing the ducks without incident, I checked my rear view mirror. The putz behind me not only refused to slow down, he actually swerved his car IN ORDER TO HIT THE LEAD DUCK.

I couldn't believe it. A cloud of white feathers exploded into the air and my son looked up, as my shriek pierced through his ipod music. "What's wrong," he said? Exasperated I exclaimed, "The nimrod behind me just killed a duck.”

What I did next really surprised me. I pulled over to let the beast pass me and then I am the pursuer, hot on his heels. While obeying all speeding regulations, of course, I came up behind him at the stop sign at the end of the road and beeped my horn. I wanted to say to him, "Do you know what you just did? Was that really necessary? " He doesn't give me the chance. The bastard put his smoking, cigar-filled hand out the window and gives me a little wave - a dismissive, "Yes, I know I just killed a duck and I don't give a crap" wave.

Now I'm really pissed.

Instead of turning left for home, I turn right. I have no plan. I'm probably going to get killed, but I keep going, desperate for a chance to call this pisher out on what he did. How can he sleep tonight? What kind of man goes out of his way to kill a duck right in front of his little duck family? Has he no shame? No soul? What is the world coming to?

We hit another stop sign, I beep. He waves. I'm furious.

We hit a red light. I beep. He waves.

Is this guy kidding? Does he really think that I'm going to let him get away with the cold-blooded murder of a duck?

As I'm contemplating exactly how I'm going to get this guy to pull over so I can give him a piece of mind, I remember that my son is still with me. I turn to face him and notice that he is staring quizzically at me.

My mind races. He must think I'm losing my mind. Is there a teachable moment here? What am I actually going to do when I catch up to this guy? How could I have acted without considering the consequences? That's it, I've ruined my son's life.

I finally decide as the guy reaches yet another stop sign that I will simply hold my hand on the horn and put up my hands in frustration. As I do so, the other cars at the four-way stop look confused, but I think I've made my point. This time, THE DUCK KILLER does not put his hand out the window to wave at me. Perhaps I HAVE made my point.

As I finally turn in the direction of our home, I glance at my son again and said, "Can you believe that guy, hitting an innocent duck like that?" "Mom," he said, “that wasn't actually a duck, it was a goose."

Well, I see that I've made an impression.

The End

Writing on any subject can be a great way to connect with your readers and enhance your author platform. Fiction writers, try a non-fiction post, non-fiction writers, try your hand at a short story or a memoir post. You never know what content your audience will connect with that may lead them to all of the other great content you have to offer.

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